As I sit here in my old house, listening to the wild howl outside. I think back to the memories of Thanksgivings in the past. I think of all the times, my family has struggled to even find food to feed ourselves, or living in a home without heat in the winter months of Thanksgiving. I can honestly say, My family has come a long way. My mom used fix us all huge helpings of her homemade stuffing. The turkey she fixed seemed (at the time) to be as big as a dog. I just loved the good old times.
Sitting at the dinner table, with my sister and brother: while mom was cooking at the stove. Dad was never there and my aunts and uncles all had their own families to care for. Thanksgiving was/is the time for being thankful. Not for what we want, but what we have. Me and my old dog is all I have now and that’s OK. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my life and So many memories of the times I got to spend with my whole family, being together. Me and my brother and sister rarely speak to each other anymore. We were never close, my sister was married at a young age and my brother, joined the army when he was 17.
I know deep deep down they love me and I love them. Before my (best friend) mom passed last august, she talked to me two days before she died. She said son, if something happens to me, your brother and sister have your back. I told her nothing was going to happen to you, your a strong lady and very kind. God doesn’t need you right now, we do. Two days later, God needed her (i guess) more than I did.
She died on the operating table and that has been the most unrealistic pain I have ever felt in my life. I guess you can say Mom was sent home to be with Jesus and I was left here alone with the world caving in around me. No help from churches here and no family members came to my aid. No prayers were said for me and no one was here anymore to help me fight my panic disorder and PTSD. I was ALONE.
I am thankful for this site and everyone here. This site was made in memory of my mother and this is how I got past her death. I want you to know that what i feel about you all being here is as real as it gets. Thanksgiving doesn’t always have to be about eating a big meal, it can also be things like this site and you all that are here, (my friends). I wanted to blog on here about what thanksgiving means to me and how you and this site has got me to stand again on my own to feet and feel alive again.
I’m getting emotional now thinking about where I was and where we are going with this toxic foods issue with our health. I felt so alone after my mom died and I went to a dark place. I thought all the thoughts someone would after losing their best friend and having know one there to comfort you. I have finally risen from those ashes. Yes I still mourn the loss of my mother every day and I feel her with me everywhere. I am in college now online at Post University and I wrote 5 books about my life on amazon kindle.
Thanksgiving is the better part of ourselves. That when we come together and share a meal and find the time to be with one another we can have that peace that everyone wants and sometimes never finds. The love we share at Thanksgiving can carry on into the new year as the light that shines on other people struggling with fear of the unknown. I have found a peace in my writing and the study on the toxic chemicals going into our bodies. I have found people that want to know more about the struggle we all face in this life. This thanksgiving, I will be at my home with my dog and I will be thankful to god, you and this site.
I am thankful for my life and mom’s memory, that I can carry on throughout my life. After I’m gone from this earth, I hope this site is carried on through the generations to come, to always get our voices out there to the danger of the foods and drinks we consume that’s killing us off slowly as we progress through life. This is a short post. I just wanted to let everyone know, to have a happy thanksgiving, I hope you all get full of food and have blessed memories with your family and friends.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE ON THIS SITE AND ONLINE. I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS.